September Memories (part 2)

Patty is working 3 to 5 days a week at hospice. The last 2 weeks have been busy and working long and stressful days... then the house becomes quiet after many dear souls found their way to heaven. Somehow we find a way to heal our hearts quickly and prepare for the next influx. I compare it the the Maternity ward... they all seem to come at once (in our case in reverse). Does the Maternity ward see things in 3's too? I really love the people I work with and the patients. I become closer to the patients and families in small town living... and all too many have family members at our church or school home. I run into families frequently at stores and am working on a way to connect faces to names... because it seems to make such a difference. I feel helpless at times... because kind words and promising to pray seems too little to lesson pain. But it is what God has given me... and I will do.

The start for full time hours is tentative with a staff member leaving, a new one orientating and a new computer program and training the others. I have been asked to develop into a team leader. This terrifies me.... but I am proceeding as God is leading me.

I am painting the house... a 2 story house. For some reason paint sheds off the house in sheets and has done so for 40 years. So I am touching up until we can side next year. I LOVE MY SCRAPBOOK ROOM and have been spending at least a evening a week in there. I have filled all my scrapbooks and am now waiting for awesome coupons to buy more books.

Happy Birthday Luke

Happy 11th Birthday Luke! The party was a fishing theme and Aunt K and Uncle B’s since we were going to be in Des Moines that weekend. What a blast with W and most all of his cousins. Of course he was spoiled by many. He was most surprised with what was in the iron box…. It was ringing and he said it was my phone. Nope. We has told him he needed to wait until he was 14. The only concession we had was he is too old for daycare and needs to stay home in the mornings. He will go to the Y for swimming and games in the afternoon. The Y is great, however, is big with 3 floors and dark stairwells. All sort of scary ideas led us to reconsider. He has a tracker on it and actually is very responsible with it. He is extra careful to not have his cell phone grounded.

The journey continues

I seldom write about my job or patients... because it's their stories and out of respect and professionalism, it's just not right. This blog started because of the seminary years and our journey to always trust in our heavenly father... no matter how frightening or confusing our life had become. I am afraid my faith will never become to the level I or more importantly what God desires, but I have discovered faith is more of a process, than a decision made with an immediate result. I have looked for this miracle for years as I specialize in worrying!

I think I enjoy my job so much because of how close I can be to witnessing heaven through my patients. I find more comfort then sadness (most days anyway). Since my hire back at the Des Moines Hospice and now with my second hire at the local hospice, I just am amazed and sincerely know that I am placed in just the right places in God's timing. Several times in DSM, I have cared for people and their families, that I have known and respected deeply. Many "God-instances". Hopefully, I was able to share God's love and peace through my hands and words.

Yesterday, my mind and heart was on fire, with so many "God-instances". I was scheduled to work, Sunday, but a sweet co-worker volunteered to trade with me, when she learned it was Gotcha Day. I was grateful, but also curious to see what God would do with Tuesday. To be brief, I was able to share God's love with numerous fellow Lutherans. At one point, I had called in 3 Pastors. (one being my husband, Thanks Honey!), to help ease the pain and bring God's love to comfort the dying and grieving. I hope I ease the fear of the dying, with touch and encouragement to grasp Christ' hand when called. I know my nursing and hospice technique well, but God asked so much more and it is a sheer priveledge to do his work. It is exhausting though!

I am also discovering small town life brings more awareness of the sadness, as I will meet surviving neighbors and fellow parsishers frequently and I will search for more ways to be of help to them. Many times in Big City Hospice... I remember the stories, but never see those involved again. I fear God has more oppurtunities for me to grow and I hope I can alway remember to put my trust and faith in him to do his work even in my new community.

God, I pray for further strength and guidance in learning to trust in you always!

Short commutes are the best!

I am loving my short commute to the local Hospice House! The hours are inconsistent as I am now PRN (as needed) for both hospice houses. But I love the feel of being there and have met more great hospice nurses. The hours just fly by and although I work hard... it really just doesn't feel like work when I love what I am doing. I look forward to working more shifts next week. The timing of my hire was good, as a couple of nurses needed me to cover their shifts. Sadly, one's mother in law died unexpectedly and the other has a scary illness. It does ease the workload of the other nurses and it's nice to help out. Next week I orient to the field part of the hospice program. I am still trying to work every Saturday at the bigger hospice house and it is so reassuring to "come home" among friends and do the work I have loved for years. Leah loves that Mommy spend most every night at home now and that is worth everything!

Back home in hospice

I just realized I haven't updated on how the Hospice House job is going. IT"S GREAT!! The first AM was a smidgen foggy (had something to do with the 4 AM alarm and that I don't do early mornings the best) I was too happy to cry. So many old friends to work with and reminisce (and a few new friends that appear to be great hospice workers.) Before I knew it, it seemed like I never left! The house is built around a fountain healing garden. That is one of my favorite things about the job is even when your head is spinning and you are dashing over to the other side of the house... you can do so in such a beautiful and peaceful garden. My mom has a memory stone there, that brings me such comfort. I had it placed years ago just to the left of my dashing path.

I drove back home after the 10 hour shift, and did well. I enjoy a Christain radio station that I can't get in this smaller town. I also have borrowed an Audio Book to listen to from the libary. On Thursday, Leah and I drove to DSM to watch Luke's soccer game against our old Christain school. (It was a great game, 3-2, even if we didn't come on top!) Grandparents, cousins and Aunt were able to cheer on the game too, than to eat at Mustards and sent the kids home with Dad. I slept at my inlaws and back for another day of nursing orientation. One more day and then I am on my own.

I am so happy to be doing hospice again, and so happy to have the support of wonderful coworkers and bosses. It is so good to be HOME!!

A good day

Today I went back to work for my old hospital. A 15 year history, that brings back mostly good memories. On Wednesday, I actually start at the hospice house. I have a feeling there will be some "happy tears", considering how emotional I felt just punching in for orientation.

The day didn't start great. Giving myself a little extra time to drive, I dressed carefully for my badge photo. This is worse than a driver's license photo, as will be on the front of my shirt daily, and this picture follows you through your entire career at said hospital. (I always liked seeing what the grey haired long time nurses looked like fresh out of nursing school on their badges) So makeup carefully applied, nice jacket and necklace... then to get gas and a Dr. Pepper for the trip. Only the gas pump wouldn't start up, took my card several times and then sprayed gasoline all over me!!! The attendant acted like it was my fault... but I've pumped gas for almost 30 years.... and I never had this happen to me!!

So back home for a wipe down sponge bath and new clothes (thank heaven that I'm a Pastor's wife and have a few backup "business casual" outfits ~ there was a time in my life that I'd would have been in big trouble). Guzzled my Dr Pepper and hit the road only 10 minutes late.

The best thing happened at the employee health office. The manager recognized me as a former nursing school classmate. I never would have recognized her, as it has been 18 years. But I'm well over 50 pounds heavier!! I had been ruminating on restarting Weight Watchers, because I'm getting sick of being so overweight. I probably still should... but it felt good to be remembered even if I am still not a size 6!!

Miss Leah actually went to bed on time and Luke is so happy I can work for the hospice house... maybe this commuting will work for a while. But I'm not using that gas pump ever again!

Finally a Job!

Patty has a job! In HOSPICE!!! YEAH. I'm going to give it my best shot. It is 90 minutes away. (for my old hospice house job) I will be working 12 hours every Wednesday. The start of my day, will be preparing for Interdisciplinary Team Meeting, and admissions, followed by working the evening doing patient care. Then I will also work every other weekend days. The only interviews I had prior to this was nights in telemetry and nights in a nursing home. (The horrible economy is effecting the hospitals too) Their decisions were pending until next week. They are local, but not definite. Because I'd be working while my family was sleeping and sleeping while they were awake.... I think night jobs would cause a lot of havoc in my family... because if Mom doesn't sleep... Mom is CRABBY! (even with all my best efforts not too). Anyway the extra city income will be used with transportation costs, but staying in DSM will be free (although my father in law will have quite a daughter in law do list) :-)))) That's OK! I am just so relieved to work back in hospice, in a wonderful hospice organization, with wonderful Christain friends... both nurses and volunteers. Hopefully the hospice house here will open up a position within the year. I am a little worried about how Ed will do with me gone potential 2 nights a week... but with lots of prep and planning. It should flow smoothly. Ed is the greatest. He said the night shift wouldn't be good for me, this was a definite job and he knew I loved it --so would make it work. We will review in November... before Advent. He is the best!!

Last day of school

The students are happy, the teachers are HAPPY, why is the nurse crying?

I will miss it!!! I never thought any job could replace hospice. My little guy has really touched my heart. The toughest part was not being able to say a real goodbye forever. Actually, maybe it is better in this sense. For all the little guy knows (or cares about me), we will both be back on Monday. I did write a thank you note to his parents. They know I'll miss him. I know I'll miss him. He knows that Mom drove him home and he doesn't like the work of school. He likes recess and sometimes art! I've learned to like recess and art too!


I think he liked me some... today he signed "help" to get him out of a time out! I know he liked my pushing him on the swing!

I have updated my resume. Since the house financing is out of my hands for the moment, I will be job searching. Of course, hospice is my first choice.... but I am much more open this year. God may just have something better in mind!!!!


P.S. Say a little prayer for me and my sewing machine, "Jan". We are putting (more correctly attempting) to place button holes in tote bags for the VBS kids. The older LWML ladies made it sound soooooo easy. ah sure!!!

Many reasons for delay in blogging

graduated husband and awaiting pics from family (still struggling with camera issues)
buying a home ..... financing YUCK!!!!!
starting to pack ... thank goodness we kept all of our boxes
preparing for VBS and nephew,Lightening McQueen, to stay a week
preparing for Leah's dance recital
preparing for transition in my job from school nurse to audit nurse (THANKS to God for the work until we move!)
Celebrating Luke's 10 th BD yesterday with 2 celebrations. (yes I let him turn double digits YIKES)
Finding a new job
Planning an ordination!!!
catching up with laundry from 5 days in Seminary City and Des Moines
Baseball, lots of games and T ball

There is more I'm sure..... but this is making me tired and stressed. Last day of school is Friday.... I'm actually sad to leave my little guy and his classmates. But there is no way to say goodbye to him. It's probably best that he thinks school is just done for the day or the weekend. I'll miss the job and seeing great teachers at work. I will not miss winter recess though!

Weather Warning

I believe a weather front is moving in. Nurses always know when it's a full moon without following a calender or even checking out the window. Nurses just KNOW!

Teachers know too.

*It takes multiple whistles to call the children to line up at recess, when usually just raising a hand will do.
*In some of the special ed rooms - hitting and screaming makes all of the teachers walk just out of child arm range.
* I overheard another teacher announce in the hallway outside of our room - "We do not throw chairs in Kindergarten". I will never be as wise as a teacher.... but Yep I don't think we'll dodge this bullet... a huge storm is coming!

Cabin Fever

Today I drove home from work in a white out blizzard. PRAISE GOD it was only 6 miles! I am so thankful to have this job and not the first one I had accepted 27 miles away. A member of our church loaned Ed a snow blower for the winter!!! YEAH!!! Tomorrow is a least a 2 hour delay for school. Double YEAH!! (from my kids)!!!

I hear other lifelong Iowas complaining that there is too much snow! I am trying really hard not too.... but winters in Seminary City were so much easier. Today, all of us safe and warm at home, Leah looks out the window and jumps up and down shouting SNOW!!!!!! Ed and I began laughing hysterically. I guess it was one of those times, that you had to be there, but she was as excited as if she saw this.....

Happy New Year!

We are slowly returning to normal. Ed and Leah are sick. Ed has been sick for almost 2 weeks and is going to the Dr. today. Leah is showing similar symptoms, so she is going to. We had a wonderful Christmas, but missed Daddy (as he had 2 funerals to do.) It was probably best as he just slept in between services and preparations....but it definitely is not Christmas without Daddy. We saw lots of family.....and Baby H was new to the celebration. We missed Baby E and her Mom and Dad (but spent some time chatting on the web cam on Christmas) We spent lots of time with my sister and boys.... doing a little to get ready for a baby niece in a couple of months....but lots of playing too!


We came home on New Year's but brought Lightening Mc Queen and Snuggle Bug with us. Lightening Mc Queen is almost 5. Snuggle Bug is 21 months but needs a new name. Compare pics! I don't regret giving my crib away! Toddlers are hard when you aren't use to them. He is so lucky he is adorable... because he is messy and a Houdini!! On day one he figured out how to crawl through the cat door in the laundry room and loved pouring out their water bowls! He is so quick! Saturday, we met his Mom and Dad halfway and skated home on ice. The rest of the weekend was spent with laundry and trying not to get sick. I went back to work today. It's nice to be back, but the whole class....students, teachers and nurse are rusty at class routine! I'm sure we'll be back to normal tomorrow!

Note to self:

Do not forget gloves when Iowa recess is held outside unless -80. Seminary City really spoiled us for Iowa winter! Actually.... I'd be surprised if I ever forget my gloves on a school day again!

THANKFULNESS JOURNAL

I have so many blessings in my life. Seminary City had more blessings than we could see at that time in our life. And at this time -I am really trying to see all of our blessings as they are gracefully given by our Lord. One blessing I have never praised God for is that my children can communicate. In fact, any one who knows my children in the real world.....knows they can communicate very well, exceptionally well. They have practiced practically every minute of their life!!! Anything you want to know...or didn't know you needed to know; Luke and Leah are happy to announce!

The past 3 months, I have work in a Autistic classroom. All of the teachers...there are 3 plus me, are so excited when a word is spoke!! One little girl has been counting and saying Mommy and Dad!! WHAT JOY!!!!!! Seriously...there is a CELEBRATION and recorded for home. It is hard to feel like you are doing the best job you can, when your communication is so limited. My student signs a few words....but somedays is so distracted.

I am thankful my children can tell me their needs, feelings, love and excitement! I can truly be apart of their world and it is a GIFT!

1st Day of school pics

Do other mothers recreate pictures for the first day of school....3 weeks late. I had to work early on the first day....and this was the first time I had film and both outfits clean. Just wondering.

First Day of school a success!

The first Day of School was a success. Luke really seems to enjoy his teacher and has made several friends. He walked the 2 blocks to the Y and was sweating when I picked him up from playing basketball for about an hour. He wants to stay longer and really wants me to bring my workout clothes tomorrow. My kids are great motivators for exercise.

I got a workout as well at school!! My little guy can walk quite fast and is a fan of slides. I follow him everywhere! I anticipate some challenges some days.....will just need to learn which battles to let go! I am happy with the job and the HOURS are a blessing. Most people know I am not a morning person. I was able to get up at 6:45 versus 5:00 am. What a difference. I was able to pick up both of my kids...get the low down on the day first hand, make supper, read the paper and tuck them both in bed. For a working Mama....it's the best! I am planning to enjoy the weekends! (Although my poor husband needs to work every one!!! :-) ))

First Day of school eve

First day of School for Luke and Mommy tomorrow. Kinda excited, Kinda nervous!! I feel a little put out that I didn't get to buy a new book bag and supplies. I did buy some new shoes and my favorite granola bars for my lunch though! Leah is feeling very left out as she needs to wait another week and a half to start. She wants to bring her rest mat to the babysitter, and wear her new shoes in honor of First Day of School for Luke. I wish she could go to Kindergarten, but next year will be here before we know it and I get to keep my baby home a year longer!

PS Still breathing over here.....no more rodent signs. YEAH!!!!