DREAMING

A memory to remember. After Maleah went to Becky's wedding last night.

Learning all about Maleah's dreams about being a bride. She is soaking in the tub and we are looking at each other in the mirror to talk about...


THE DRESS -- Will be white with a tight bodice and big skirt and a long train.
THE VEIL -- Maybe none, but certainly a tiara. If she wears a veil... she wants her face covered.
FLOWERS: White roses/Red roses/daises
Hair: Will be straight and pulled into a bun and sparkly.
AGE: 27 or 30
THE Wedding Party: If her little cousins will be already grown up like her... mb Luke will have a little niece as her flower girl. Her bridesmaids will be Kayli, Anna, Eva, Chloe, Eden and Jessi.

Daddy will do both the giving away and performing the service.
Mommy will probably cry happy tears... yes indeed happy tears!

September Memories (part three)

Ed is doing well, although his heart is really attached to his members. If they hurt... he "has a lot on my mind". I am praying he learns to Shepard without taking so much out of him. Or just the amount God wants for him. He is really happy with where God has led us and enjoys the fun times and co- coaching Luke's soccer teams.

Luke is adjusting to being a 6th grader. The first few weeks were hot without conditioning and knowing that public didn't start until 10 days later. He also thinks his teacher is too hard this year... although he has reflected this now on his parents... since I told him this is what we asked her to do. I am happy the school has high expectations of it's student!

Leah loves First grade and is READING. She is a great speller and is so excited to bring back her homework! I haven't heard if she in trouble for chatting with her neighbors yet. She started her team gymnastics program, 2 days a week and loves it! We are going to start really slow with competitions for at least this year.

Bandit and Skittles are enjoying the cooler weather, and that Mom opens up a back window so they can watch the bird feeder "LIVE TV". No comment from the birds!

September Memories (part 2)

Patty is working 3 to 5 days a week at hospice. The last 2 weeks have been busy and working long and stressful days... then the house becomes quiet after many dear souls found their way to heaven. Somehow we find a way to heal our hearts quickly and prepare for the next influx. I compare it the the Maternity ward... they all seem to come at once (in our case in reverse). Does the Maternity ward see things in 3's too? I really love the people I work with and the patients. I become closer to the patients and families in small town living... and all too many have family members at our church or school home. I run into families frequently at stores and am working on a way to connect faces to names... because it seems to make such a difference. I feel helpless at times... because kind words and promising to pray seems too little to lesson pain. But it is what God has given me... and I will do.

The start for full time hours is tentative with a staff member leaving, a new one orientating and a new computer program and training the others. I have been asked to develop into a team leader. This terrifies me.... but I am proceeding as God is leading me.

I am painting the house... a 2 story house. For some reason paint sheds off the house in sheets and has done so for 40 years. So I am touching up until we can side next year. I LOVE MY SCRAPBOOK ROOM and have been spending at least a evening a week in there. I have filled all my scrapbooks and am now waiting for awesome coupons to buy more books.

Zapata Falls

There were so many options for our last day. We will definitely need to come back to see the San Luis valley with the stations of the Cross, Fort Morgan gun fights and more mountain drives. Today we chose the falls, although most of us were leery. Mom and Dad (due to the hike and walk in ice cold mountain water) and Leah (because we still might fall off a mountain.) Luke… well he’s not leery of anything except has serious cravings for Cartoon network! K packed a great lunch and cold water. We started the ½ mile walk at a angle of almost 180 degrees up. Thank goodness for park benches and walking sticks. It actually wasn’t that bad… not knowing exactly how much more makes us scared. When we arrived at the water bed, we found the ice cold water exhilarating! Leah started to cry, we think because the canyon was so narrow, but she willing held our hands through the water and over many rocks. We were then rewarded with the most amazing waterfall in such a beautiful canyon opening. The sunlight filtered in and we were just thrilled! The way back was so much easier and Leah was able to tell a daycare group that it wasn’t scary at all. (The daycare kids were about 4, but each had an adult and many were carried in piggy back by young adults that defiantly earned their pay that day). When we arrived at the water bed… she wanted to go right back. There were so many people and our experience was so breathtaking, we didn’t dare, but spent some time wading through small outlets and going off the trail a bit. Lunch tasted so good and after some ice cream and gift shopping we returned back to the cabin. No deer this late in the afternoon.

Update

update


OK… Hope no one has held their breath since the last post. Yes, 5 weeks later. I’m typing in the car on vacation to update the last 4 months of activities deemed worthy to make the blog for family memory value. Some highlights:

Patty is working about 3 to 4 days a week in the local hospice house. These are regular hours…. Not PRN. So I have switch to a true PRN in Des Moines, and work about once a month. I’d love to work another Saturday or 2, but due to some new hires… the hours just are not there. I have been cross trained to also work the field hospice program to help out, but when the field is busy, so is the hospice house and it’s my first priority. I am considered an admission nurse again, so very few weekends. Mostly I work 8 to 5. Not bad , Not bad at all. As far as the rest of my time… it appear to be washing clothes and entertaining kids. The neighborhood shows up most every day. I some how was also feeding them mac and cheese and hot dogs. Fast stop to that and now they get tube popsicles, if the scissors get put away and tubes in the trash. I have been working on my scrapbooking room and touch up painting around the hours. Another new PW has moved to the area. She likes scrapbooking also… so hopefully she can get settled soon and some major scrap sessions can happen
Ed stays busy at church. One wedding and VBS done this summer. That was a lot of fun! Grandma moved to Des Moines and we were generously blessed with a garage full of tools and misc. things we had gave away when we moved to Sem City. Ed’s job is to find a place for all of it!
Luke has his cell phone. (We didn’t follow through on making him wait until he turned 27, like Mom had too) It’s really for Mom’s sanity as has a tracker on it and he goes to the Y most everyday to swim and stays home in the mornings. It’s working out well and although he has lost 2 pounds from all the exercise, he has also put on 2 inches. He is so happy to always have a friend to play with, and occassionaly talks one of the dads into taking him fishing.
Leah has just finished her Team gymnastic classes. She can do some AMAZING things. I think she does no less than 50 cartwheels daily. Right now we are working on back flips without hands! She also has so many little friends to play with. Her biggest worry is whether we will fall off the mountain or not!

Colorado

Colorado


We are finally on our way to Colorado. About the time Luke was born, we had a hope to vacation at an Aunt and Uncle’s cabin high in the mountains. When Luke was old enough for a 15 hour car ride, Leah came along, then the Sem, then ordination and buying a home. Since this time has passed, another Aunt and Uncle have a home in the state and we get to see some Great friends from the Seminary. The kids are really excited and so is Ed. I still have my worries about high in mountains without heat. Hopefully the snow has melted. I’m hoping my expectations of boring mountains will be greatly disproved. My last encounter was when I was 16… so my memories might be skewed. Here is our first views… pretty amazing!

Kindergarten graduation

We can forgo all the whining Mom had about her baby and growing too fast. Leah has heard it all before, and has no plans to be sympathetic. 9 very excited Kindergartens dressed up in their finest and were awesome in presenting their little scripture and songs. You can see how much they have learned and gained in confidences. This school is a Blessing! This class and Mrs. S is a blessing. Leah can read and is always sharing stories of what she has learned in bible class. Her scores are good in everything….. But her goal for next year is less chatting with friends. At least that is Mom . Dad and teacher’s goal.

HE HAS RISEN!!! HE HAS RISEN INDEED!!

Happy Easter to you all!

Uncle Lance's Wedding

Wedding


What a wonderful weekend! We get go to Packer country and Ed gets to marry his brother, Lance and new sister in law, Jennifer. Lance has had a horrible year after being burned in a power line, but a silver lining is that he reconnected with Aunt Jennifer and we Love her! Maleah finally gets to be a flower girl! She is so happy to get to wear her ordination dress again, as it fits Jennifer’s colors perfectly. Luke is ring bearer and he’s up for the job since it’s been 5 years since his last uncle was married. Because of the distance and that it’s still winter - only cousin, Jess can come. But my kids adore her and love to be with Uncle Don and Aunt Brenda who live in Packer land too! This was one of my favorite weddings. It was small, but so much fun. It was so nice to witness Ed’s first wedding, and Lance and Jennifer are so much in love. I had a delicious veggie supper and decided to kick off my heels and have a great time on the dance floor. Too bad I didn’t consult Leah! The look on her face was priceless! Half shock/ half horror - just what was her Mom doing?! Evidently only young and cute people could be on the dance floor?!? Of course, I was a good Mom and sat back down - doesn’t Maleah wish! I had fun with all the silly dances and a few of the fast dance. Of course, I love the slow dance (thanks Hubby)! Leah got over it and fun was had by all. One great moment was when favorite Aunt Brenda danced as well. She is so inspiring as has been deaf since birth… but can feel the rhythm through vibration!

The journey continues

I seldom write about my job or patients... because it's their stories and out of respect and professionalism, it's just not right. This blog started because of the seminary years and our journey to always trust in our heavenly father... no matter how frightening or confusing our life had become. I am afraid my faith will never become to the level I or more importantly what God desires, but I have discovered faith is more of a process, than a decision made with an immediate result. I have looked for this miracle for years as I specialize in worrying!

I think I enjoy my job so much because of how close I can be to witnessing heaven through my patients. I find more comfort then sadness (most days anyway). Since my hire back at the Des Moines Hospice and now with my second hire at the local hospice, I just am amazed and sincerely know that I am placed in just the right places in God's timing. Several times in DSM, I have cared for people and their families, that I have known and respected deeply. Many "God-instances". Hopefully, I was able to share God's love and peace through my hands and words.

Yesterday, my mind and heart was on fire, with so many "God-instances". I was scheduled to work, Sunday, but a sweet co-worker volunteered to trade with me, when she learned it was Gotcha Day. I was grateful, but also curious to see what God would do with Tuesday. To be brief, I was able to share God's love with numerous fellow Lutherans. At one point, I had called in 3 Pastors. (one being my husband, Thanks Honey!), to help ease the pain and bring God's love to comfort the dying and grieving. I hope I ease the fear of the dying, with touch and encouragement to grasp Christ' hand when called. I know my nursing and hospice technique well, but God asked so much more and it is a sheer priveledge to do his work. It is exhausting though!

I am also discovering small town life brings more awareness of the sadness, as I will meet surviving neighbors and fellow parsishers frequently and I will search for more ways to be of help to them. Many times in Big City Hospice... I remember the stories, but never see those involved again. I fear God has more oppurtunities for me to grow and I hope I can alway remember to put my trust and faith in him to do his work even in my new community.

God, I pray for further strength and guidance in learning to trust in you always!

Gotcha Luke!!!

Happy 10th Gotcha Day Luke!!!

10 years ago, I heard those wonderful words that put much anxiety at rest.. "I agree with this adoption." The worries of a God lead, but somewhat confusing adoption slipped away and Ed and I locked eyes with a sigh and relief as I hugged the wonderful, bouncy blue eyed 9 month bundle of energy that sat on my lap.

Today we celebrated the "10th Gotcha Day" with little gifts and lots of hugs and a special supper. Luke also embraced the day with excitement, but also many hugs and stating how happy he is to be our son. I have been dreading the time when teenage hormones and frustrations typically put a damper to love and communication between parent and child. He calls himself a "tweener", but we still have the same energetic (and sometimes bouncing off the walls), wonderful sweet boy. He still accepts and initiates hugs. Even if the future holds some rough days.... I know in my hear --- The Gotcha Days will always be special.

During our suppers we always ask around the table... "what's the best part of your day?". Tonight I started with "What I like best about Luke being in our family". Dad and I shared our love of his devotion to God, smart, his gratefulness and ability to show his love to others...among other talents. Maleah's best part of having Luke for her brother? ---- "We get to got to eat at a restaurant"

Back to reality Luke!!! She really does love you!!!

Short commutes are the best!

I am loving my short commute to the local Hospice House! The hours are inconsistent as I am now PRN (as needed) for both hospice houses. But I love the feel of being there and have met more great hospice nurses. The hours just fly by and although I work hard... it really just doesn't feel like work when I love what I am doing. I look forward to working more shifts next week. The timing of my hire was good, as a couple of nurses needed me to cover their shifts. Sadly, one's mother in law died unexpectedly and the other has a scary illness. It does ease the workload of the other nurses and it's nice to help out. Next week I orient to the field part of the hospice program. I am still trying to work every Saturday at the bigger hospice house and it is so reassuring to "come home" among friends and do the work I have loved for years. Leah loves that Mommy spend most every night at home now and that is worth everything!

First Christmas

A Christmas of firsts....

Our first Christmas in our new(to us) home.
Our first Christmas with Bandit.
Our first Christmas without Checkers.
Our first Christmas service at our new church home, with beautiful service led by Pastor D!
Our first that we might not get "home" and miss the family celebrations.
Our first that Luke needs to sleep on Leah's bedroom floor "so Santa doesn't come in my room"

Nothing compares to the very first Christmas! Ed's sermon was a series of homilies on how Christ came to be man. He of course shared scripture to prepare the way and hymns to describe God's faithful love. He also shared how real the Christ child was growing and stretching and being loved by his expectant mother for months before his birth. I had never thought about how real that is. Christ became more than just "man", he was as much a babe that grew as I was growing in my mother's womb. He was real, he is real and he lived to save the believing.

Sunday School XMAS program

The best part of the weekend was the Sunday School Christmas program. Leah placed some of the "Savior's Nations" flags around the alter rail (you can see that it is round!) Luke was Joseph and a proud one at that! He had to go early with his Pastor Dad, as Mom might run too late (with 2 cousins coming too!) The program was so sweet, bring tears to my eyes. I was so proud of each and every one of them. I guess I am starting to love the whole congregation! (still have probably 60% of the names to learn though!). The pictures are taken from my usual front row spot and I LOVE looking up at the cross and stained glass above.

Missed blogging

Tap, Tap.... anyone there? Probably not for awhile. I can not believe it has been almost 2 months. I joined facebook, and that distracted me for awhile... pretty easy but vague and writers block is even more intense as some of my high school "friends" are reading... and I just know are probably "judging". Maybe life has changed for them too... but old insecurities don't die I guess. Several good friends are on FB too (even high school), but they aren't posting much either!

Life is going on... very fast. I blink and another week is gone! I still love the hospice house, but the drive is more difficult worrying about the weather. The kids have started to adjust. I don't know how much longer God will keep me in DSM. It really seems like that to me.... Some pretty incredible "God instances" have occurred that have influenced me and hopefully have helped others. God's plans are right and perfect and I am continuing to learn to trust in him. This blog started due to all of the "God instances" that occurred during the seminary years. I wanted to keep track of them and share them. Mostly the blog turned into "cute stories about the kids" and mostly Leah as I didn't want to embarrass Luke as he began to try new things and suffering enough growing pains as it is being a "tweener" as he refers to himself. So I have a new camera, too much teenage insecurites for regular facebook, and miss the good old blog so... lets try this again!

Back home in hospice

I just realized I haven't updated on how the Hospice House job is going. IT"S GREAT!! The first AM was a smidgen foggy (had something to do with the 4 AM alarm and that I don't do early mornings the best) I was too happy to cry. So many old friends to work with and reminisce (and a few new friends that appear to be great hospice workers.) Before I knew it, it seemed like I never left! The house is built around a fountain healing garden. That is one of my favorite things about the job is even when your head is spinning and you are dashing over to the other side of the house... you can do so in such a beautiful and peaceful garden. My mom has a memory stone there, that brings me such comfort. I had it placed years ago just to the left of my dashing path.

I drove back home after the 10 hour shift, and did well. I enjoy a Christain radio station that I can't get in this smaller town. I also have borrowed an Audio Book to listen to from the libary. On Thursday, Leah and I drove to DSM to watch Luke's soccer game against our old Christain school. (It was a great game, 3-2, even if we didn't come on top!) Grandparents, cousins and Aunt were able to cheer on the game too, than to eat at Mustards and sent the kids home with Dad. I slept at my inlaws and back for another day of nursing orientation. One more day and then I am on my own.

I am so happy to be doing hospice again, and so happy to have the support of wonderful coworkers and bosses. It is so good to be HOME!!

Busy = confusion

Did I mention how much we love living back in Central Iowa? My in laws had a birthday party to attend about an hour away, so spent the night with us. The kids (even us big kids) LOVE having Grandpa and Grandma so close). Good Times!! Our church had planned a "get to know the Pastor and family" potluck, so the timing was great.

I'm blaming the stress of motherhood and the extra worry of cooking. Bible study was cancelled to allow for the cooking of yummy potluck dishes. But the kids still had Sunday school. I went home with R and M to cook Party Potato casserole. Since we had a little time, I navigated my in laws through a little detour downtown. All is great, until we try to open the front door, without the keys that are in Luke's pocket back at at Sunday school 15 minutes away. So back to church, and then I realized there was not enough time to bake the casserole, so off to Hyvee to buy a salad. My mother in law was such a dear to ask if I wanted her to come in. I hesitated just a sec, and then readily agreed... because I had no money!!! My father in law claims that "time with Patty is always interesting"! (((As a reminder... I don't carry a purse, because for 3 years in Seminary City, I traveled so many hospitals and only carried a cash card and my driver's license, in part to avoid theft.... but more likely to not leave a purse in one of the many hospitals. Trying to be a good Pastor's wife, I tried carrying a purse for 1 week until I left it in a city restaurant 3 hours away!!! Thank heavens I didn't have my little pocket wallet, as I didn't trust myself to not lose it! It did have my sorry excuse for a camera... ((still can't download to computer)), but had a memory card full of pics so am forever grateful to good friends Matt and Shelley for rescuing it =-)) Luke often carries the keys because my "Pastor's wife" dresses don't have pockets.

The third time back to church with my bought salad in a pretty glass bowl, I commented how well my father in law was navigating our new town!! There is a silver lining to all of my flubs!! Thanks R and M for being such great sports and so helpful!!!!!

The best part of the day was to come, such a nice dinner with our new congregation. I got my nerve up and talked to every single one of them... and am actually making connections and memorizing names. The food and house shower for us was such a wonderful surprise!! What a blessing these souls are!!! Maybe one of them can teach me how to sew a little pocket in my dresses, because my inlaws can't come to church with me every sunday!

Finally a Job!

Patty has a job! In HOSPICE!!! YEAH. I'm going to give it my best shot. It is 90 minutes away. (for my old hospice house job) I will be working 12 hours every Wednesday. The start of my day, will be preparing for Interdisciplinary Team Meeting, and admissions, followed by working the evening doing patient care. Then I will also work every other weekend days. The only interviews I had prior to this was nights in telemetry and nights in a nursing home. (The horrible economy is effecting the hospitals too) Their decisions were pending until next week. They are local, but not definite. Because I'd be working while my family was sleeping and sleeping while they were awake.... I think night jobs would cause a lot of havoc in my family... because if Mom doesn't sleep... Mom is CRABBY! (even with all my best efforts not too). Anyway the extra city income will be used with transportation costs, but staying in DSM will be free (although my father in law will have quite a daughter in law do list) :-)))) That's OK! I am just so relieved to work back in hospice, in a wonderful hospice organization, with wonderful Christain friends... both nurses and volunteers. Hopefully the hospice house here will open up a position within the year. I am a little worried about how Ed will do with me gone potential 2 nights a week... but with lots of prep and planning. It should flow smoothly. Ed is the greatest. He said the night shift wouldn't be good for me, this was a definite job and he knew I loved it --so would make it work. We will review in November... before Advent. He is the best!!

Missed blogging

Long time, no post. The family has been

*trying to make this house into a permanent home. (The china has actually been washed and put into cabinets!)

*rescued Bandit a year old male kitty from the humane society. He was to be a friend to the lonely Skittles since her big sister Checkers died. Turns out we were wrong. She is scared of him and he is taking advantage of this fact. He has a little stomach issue and is quarantined. Fun times at our house! Luke keeps asking me if Bandit has to go back. I don't think I have the heart to do that... but I KNOW THERE WILL BE NO MORE ANIMALS IN THIS HOUSE! You can quote me on that!

*looking for a job... with 10% of the country. I am so grateful Ed is bringing home the pay and the benefits! When nurse jobs are scarce... times are tough. Right now, I am applying for part time work in Des Moines and will bunk with my families. Hoping for 12 hour shifts. The drive and time from my family will be a sacrifice, but the money will be good and I hope to soon work at the hospice I love at least PRN!

*Getting ready for school. Shots, pencils and new clothes. The kids are taking care of the sibling rivalry... so Mom won't cry on the first day of school. She'll drive away from the school humming such a happy tune! Only 6 more days..... ONLY SIX MORE DAYS =-))))))))

*We are close enough to Des Moines to go shopping, garage saleing and hugging cousins!

*Our new home feels like home, we are learning the roads and the ropes. Life is good even if it is busy. God is good.


P.S. The camera cord has vanished into thin air... if it ever appears, I will post pictures of Bandit. He looks nothing like Checkers. No one will replace my baby.

It's official, I'm a Pastor's wife!

The big day has finally arrived. And it was more than we thought it could be. So many church friends and family came. Luke acolyted, Maleah presented Daddy with a new cross. I cried and cried and then some more Happy tears. In my defense, many other people were crying also. It was so sweet to see Ed get on his knees to let Maleah place the cross and then hug her.) As you can see in the pictures, he spent some time on his knees before the cross with prayer and blessings from the other 6 Pastors. One, his mentor, another a best friend, a current and former Pastor of our home church and one a friend from the seminary that he went to Guatemala with. The last in the center is our District President. What an awesome day with many memories. In the AM, Ed baptised our newest princess niece. We were godparents as well, then a nice family BBQ. After the ordination, the church had a wonderful dinner with 149 people attending. The seminary days are over.... and my husband is a Pastor. God is GOOD!! His mercies endure forever!

I still can't find my camera cord. (did I mention in past posts, I HATE moving?!?), so one of Ed's former teachers sent me her album.