Update

update


OK… Hope no one has held their breath since the last post. Yes, 5 weeks later. I’m typing in the car on vacation to update the last 4 months of activities deemed worthy to make the blog for family memory value. Some highlights:

Patty is working about 3 to 4 days a week in the local hospice house. These are regular hours…. Not PRN. So I have switch to a true PRN in Des Moines, and work about once a month. I’d love to work another Saturday or 2, but due to some new hires… the hours just are not there. I have been cross trained to also work the field hospice program to help out, but when the field is busy, so is the hospice house and it’s my first priority. I am considered an admission nurse again, so very few weekends. Mostly I work 8 to 5. Not bad , Not bad at all. As far as the rest of my time… it appear to be washing clothes and entertaining kids. The neighborhood shows up most every day. I some how was also feeding them mac and cheese and hot dogs. Fast stop to that and now they get tube popsicles, if the scissors get put away and tubes in the trash. I have been working on my scrapbooking room and touch up painting around the hours. Another new PW has moved to the area. She likes scrapbooking also… so hopefully she can get settled soon and some major scrap sessions can happen
Ed stays busy at church. One wedding and VBS done this summer. That was a lot of fun! Grandma moved to Des Moines and we were generously blessed with a garage full of tools and misc. things we had gave away when we moved to Sem City. Ed’s job is to find a place for all of it!
Luke has his cell phone. (We didn’t follow through on making him wait until he turned 27, like Mom had too) It’s really for Mom’s sanity as has a tracker on it and he goes to the Y most everyday to swim and stays home in the mornings. It’s working out well and although he has lost 2 pounds from all the exercise, he has also put on 2 inches. He is so happy to always have a friend to play with, and occassionaly talks one of the dads into taking him fishing.
Leah has just finished her Team gymnastic classes. She can do some AMAZING things. I think she does no less than 50 cartwheels daily. Right now we are working on back flips without hands! She also has so many little friends to play with. Her biggest worry is whether we will fall off the mountain or not!

The journey continues

I seldom write about my job or patients... because it's their stories and out of respect and professionalism, it's just not right. This blog started because of the seminary years and our journey to always trust in our heavenly father... no matter how frightening or confusing our life had become. I am afraid my faith will never become to the level I or more importantly what God desires, but I have discovered faith is more of a process, than a decision made with an immediate result. I have looked for this miracle for years as I specialize in worrying!

I think I enjoy my job so much because of how close I can be to witnessing heaven through my patients. I find more comfort then sadness (most days anyway). Since my hire back at the Des Moines Hospice and now with my second hire at the local hospice, I just am amazed and sincerely know that I am placed in just the right places in God's timing. Several times in DSM, I have cared for people and their families, that I have known and respected deeply. Many "God-instances". Hopefully, I was able to share God's love and peace through my hands and words.

Yesterday, my mind and heart was on fire, with so many "God-instances". I was scheduled to work, Sunday, but a sweet co-worker volunteered to trade with me, when she learned it was Gotcha Day. I was grateful, but also curious to see what God would do with Tuesday. To be brief, I was able to share God's love with numerous fellow Lutherans. At one point, I had called in 3 Pastors. (one being my husband, Thanks Honey!), to help ease the pain and bring God's love to comfort the dying and grieving. I hope I ease the fear of the dying, with touch and encouragement to grasp Christ' hand when called. I know my nursing and hospice technique well, but God asked so much more and it is a sheer priveledge to do his work. It is exhausting though!

I am also discovering small town life brings more awareness of the sadness, as I will meet surviving neighbors and fellow parsishers frequently and I will search for more ways to be of help to them. Many times in Big City Hospice... I remember the stories, but never see those involved again. I fear God has more oppurtunities for me to grow and I hope I can alway remember to put my trust and faith in him to do his work even in my new community.

God, I pray for further strength and guidance in learning to trust in you always!

Short commutes are the best!

I am loving my short commute to the local Hospice House! The hours are inconsistent as I am now PRN (as needed) for both hospice houses. But I love the feel of being there and have met more great hospice nurses. The hours just fly by and although I work hard... it really just doesn't feel like work when I love what I am doing. I look forward to working more shifts next week. The timing of my hire was good, as a couple of nurses needed me to cover their shifts. Sadly, one's mother in law died unexpectedly and the other has a scary illness. It does ease the workload of the other nurses and it's nice to help out. Next week I orient to the field part of the hospice program. I am still trying to work every Saturday at the bigger hospice house and it is so reassuring to "come home" among friends and do the work I have loved for years. Leah loves that Mommy spend most every night at home now and that is worth everything!

Back home in hospice

I just realized I haven't updated on how the Hospice House job is going. IT"S GREAT!! The first AM was a smidgen foggy (had something to do with the 4 AM alarm and that I don't do early mornings the best) I was too happy to cry. So many old friends to work with and reminisce (and a few new friends that appear to be great hospice workers.) Before I knew it, it seemed like I never left! The house is built around a fountain healing garden. That is one of my favorite things about the job is even when your head is spinning and you are dashing over to the other side of the house... you can do so in such a beautiful and peaceful garden. My mom has a memory stone there, that brings me such comfort. I had it placed years ago just to the left of my dashing path.

I drove back home after the 10 hour shift, and did well. I enjoy a Christain radio station that I can't get in this smaller town. I also have borrowed an Audio Book to listen to from the libary. On Thursday, Leah and I drove to DSM to watch Luke's soccer game against our old Christain school. (It was a great game, 3-2, even if we didn't come on top!) Grandparents, cousins and Aunt were able to cheer on the game too, than to eat at Mustards and sent the kids home with Dad. I slept at my inlaws and back for another day of nursing orientation. One more day and then I am on my own.

I am so happy to be doing hospice again, and so happy to have the support of wonderful coworkers and bosses. It is so good to be HOME!!

A good day

Today I went back to work for my old hospital. A 15 year history, that brings back mostly good memories. On Wednesday, I actually start at the hospice house. I have a feeling there will be some "happy tears", considering how emotional I felt just punching in for orientation.

The day didn't start great. Giving myself a little extra time to drive, I dressed carefully for my badge photo. This is worse than a driver's license photo, as will be on the front of my shirt daily, and this picture follows you through your entire career at said hospital. (I always liked seeing what the grey haired long time nurses looked like fresh out of nursing school on their badges) So makeup carefully applied, nice jacket and necklace... then to get gas and a Dr. Pepper for the trip. Only the gas pump wouldn't start up, took my card several times and then sprayed gasoline all over me!!! The attendant acted like it was my fault... but I've pumped gas for almost 30 years.... and I never had this happen to me!!

So back home for a wipe down sponge bath and new clothes (thank heaven that I'm a Pastor's wife and have a few backup "business casual" outfits ~ there was a time in my life that I'd would have been in big trouble). Guzzled my Dr Pepper and hit the road only 10 minutes late.

The best thing happened at the employee health office. The manager recognized me as a former nursing school classmate. I never would have recognized her, as it has been 18 years. But I'm well over 50 pounds heavier!! I had been ruminating on restarting Weight Watchers, because I'm getting sick of being so overweight. I probably still should... but it felt good to be remembered even if I am still not a size 6!!

Miss Leah actually went to bed on time and Luke is so happy I can work for the hospice house... maybe this commuting will work for a while. But I'm not using that gas pump ever again!

Last day of school

The students are happy, the teachers are HAPPY, why is the nurse crying?

I will miss it!!! I never thought any job could replace hospice. My little guy has really touched my heart. The toughest part was not being able to say a real goodbye forever. Actually, maybe it is better in this sense. For all the little guy knows (or cares about me), we will both be back on Monday. I did write a thank you note to his parents. They know I'll miss him. I know I'll miss him. He knows that Mom drove him home and he doesn't like the work of school. He likes recess and sometimes art! I've learned to like recess and art too!


I think he liked me some... today he signed "help" to get him out of a time out! I know he liked my pushing him on the swing!

I have updated my resume. Since the house financing is out of my hands for the moment, I will be job searching. Of course, hospice is my first choice.... but I am much more open this year. God may just have something better in mind!!!!


P.S. Say a little prayer for me and my sewing machine, "Jan". We are putting (more correctly attempting) to place button holes in tote bags for the VBS kids. The older LWML ladies made it sound soooooo easy. ah sure!!!

Lots of changes ahead!

Yesterday I drove to new hometown and looked at houses to buy or rent. Wow. We set a budget and hoped the buyer's market would deliver. NOPE. Our experts say we can do a higher budget, but we are not ready to buy our future house without lots more planning. The tax credits just aren't worth that type of stress!!! We do have more time for the "magical-great bones-fixer upper house" to appear next month just begging for me to "flip" it. I have done all my homework... you know my degrees from TLC and HGTV and my favorite show Property Ladder! If it can be done on TV... it can't be that hard right?

Actually there is such a house that needs a garage and some fresh paint and flooring. It is a part of an estate and right now their numbers (probably based on emotion for their childhood home) and our numbers are WAY off. My heart fluctuates between wanting to love a home again and set down roots versus renting for another 6-9-12 months. Ed and I have lots of decisions, discussions and prayer!

I visited my children's future school, heard the children singing for their upcoming spring program and wanted to cry "mom's happy tears" right in front of the principal. Seriously. I was so happy my heart is swelling!!! I know this is the right school... even if we are homeless right now!

I didn't visit the hospice house. I learned my lesson the last time I visited a hospice house that didn't have a job opening for a year. Just broke my heart!! I did go to the hospital and saw 3 job openings. It's a little soon to apply. I don't think the hospital wants to hire me to just have us wait to finish vicarage, move, ordain my husband and then decide to show up for work. But the wheels are in motion and the time will fly!

P.S. still waiting to have the washing machine fixed. And I hand washed Thursday's undies. But my car decided it wanted to see the repairman too so the washing machine had better just need a little TLC repair, or this Momma will be hand washing lots!!!

Good byes

When someone is in your life for a REASON. . . It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

Then people come into your life for a SEASON. Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind
but friendship is clairvoyant. ------ author unknown.

Tonight was my last day at work. I knew this day was coming for 3 years. We have actually had a count down to call day and were so excited about returning home. Now we are conflicted. We have all laid down roots here....much deeper than we ever expected. I have been blessed to find a job that was PERFECT for me, PERFECT for my family and worked with some of best nurses and team members around. I will miss everyone..... and I have met and made friends (of each: for a reason, season and lifetime.) Thank you God for such BLESSINGS!

Welcome to the last week of school

I am so glad Luke has a RN for a mother.....I'm betting his classmates mothers are happy as well. Last year I sent him in the last 2 weeks of school with chicken pox (In my defense, he had the vaccine...and I didn't know that it changes the presentation). This year, as a dutiful mother, I kept both kids home with their slightly red throats and sluggishness on Tuesday. By evening, both were so wired up I knew the virus was OVER and back to school they would go. Luke was quite dramatic in the morning that he was "deathly" sick. The slight redness was still low in his throat.....so I sent them off to school with stern words of "toughen up". By 5 pm, Ed was in the doctors office getting a prescription for Penicillin to treat Luke's Strep Throat. And Sheepishly, I call to tell the teacher and get the arrangements to take his last tests of the school year. I have a poor defense this year...other then I keep forgetting my children have different DNA and obviously respond differently to illness. Leah still has a run down "whiny" attitude and is laying around lots....but no strep....yet anyway. Let the Summer fun begin...2 days early!

What a summer we will have! I alternate between being excited with all the preparations and having twinges of homesickness for what I have grown to love in this big city. Maybe some of this is fear, or just dread of the hard work of moving and some "homelessness" during the week of the move when our belongings will be in the truck in storage. The vicar's wife I am replacing has 6 children and home schools them all ...I know these are shoes I couldn't possibly replicate. I keeping telling myself this is a good thing and I can be more of myself ----working mother....who just tries to keep all of the balls floating in the air. I have not looked for a job yet.....and will work here until moving day to provide for us until we get settled and I can interview in person. This takes tremendous stress off of me!! And what's good for Momma....I'm hoping will be good for the kiddos.

This week I started training my replacement. She will do wonderful, but I am trying to show her this job is rewarding and not too stressful. I wish the families of the new patients were cooperating as well. Gotta love family dysfunction!!! It's everywhere and we care for patients and their families at the very worse times in their lives. I know my replacement knows this....I just pray she doesn't go running away with trying to learn it all. As a nurse, when I add up the just physical aspects of the job....I sometimes wonder what is taking up so much time. Training another has shown me....why some nights I go home with such a headache and just have enough energy to read blogs!

Well, what a long post....I should separate them and maybe make it more interesting. But welcome to our home this week!