Hair update and Lots of Prayers

I was able to buy a CHI....so I again have a very happy girl. It involved a couple trips to Bed Bath and Beyond. Picking up a rain check at Target....running in the rain downpour back to BB and B for the safest hair straightener around. Big brother,Luke not so impressed with all the shopping. I don't know how it works, but it does! Leah's hair is slinky soft and straight. Brittney at Cool Cuts creates a very sleek look....I'm close -- hopefully with practice....It will look even better. I am so happy I haven't ruined her hair yet.....I have been reading lots on the internet about CHI safety....and a thread came up for a mother of a nine year old that goes to the salon weekly with her daughter, because she can not do her hair. I am grateful the Leah and I learned as she grew. Some of the comments had more to do with self image, and what Mom was doing to harm or help. I am terrified this is happening. When we talked about still doing braids for the safety of her hair..she was so upset because "My friends like it straight". The "princess stuff" I get.....even the "Dancing with the stars glamour". I am praying hard that I make the right decisions to help Leah feel positive in who she is ....such a beautiful child of God....inside and out. Healthy and Happy and KNOWING the love of Jesus means so much more than hair.

The picture

This is the picture.

Confessions

I feel I need to clarify......I have never been to a strip club....nor do I ever desire to. My mother always said to never be anywhere that you would not want Jesus to find you when he returns. I take that to heart!!!! I don't like casinos for that reason either. My sister wants to visit Las Vegas (just the 2 of us) ....and I'm sure thats a very nice city....filled with very nice people. But it's nicknamed 'Sin City' and I just can't get past that....even if the hotels are priced right and the buffet lines never end.

A different subject....I am also feeling guilty that I asked our chaplain to remove a poster in the conference room that I use as my office when admitting patients. The requst started somewhat in jest....but I still can't get this beautiful child out of my mind. It's a poster for Catholic support for immigrants. It is of a 1 or 2 week old baby and her 15 year old mother. Both are just BEAUTIFUL and their dark eyes penetrate my heart. The baby has just a diaper and their carmel skin is draped in the black background. I found a picture of MG at the same age. The comparison is uncanny. Everyone at work agreed, that my little princess could have been related to both mother and child. The chaplain said this baby is up for adoption and my heart soared!! Of course, there is no way that we could adopt now--- and this baby certainly has found a home. But the BABY BLUES!! We just found out that we are probably going to a very rural area and possibly only for 1 year. This closes the adoption door for at least a year. B and I have discussed our future adoptioning or not. We have decided to let God open doors or close them to help us decided if or when the time is right. I AM SO SCARED the doors are closing. Learning to trust in him......learning to trust in him.

Warning!!

Beware if you go out in nature with me......this is what you will see. Notice, my eyes are closed. I am that embaressed!! I so enjoyed going to the pumpkin farm.....my Dr was not as happy. I was fine until around 2 am when I began to have shooting pains in both ears and down my jawline. Ibuprofen barely touched the pain. Ice helped the most. I held out on Sunday and saw my routine Dr on Monday. The pain was better, but my jaw was so tight.....my speech was almost like my jaw was wired shut. Thank Goodness, I didn't need to do a lot of talking at work. I didn't have infection....just a hyperreactive responce to whatever I am allergic to outside...molds I guess, but my Dr feels it is more. I definitely now have a asthma diagnosis....but also have an obstuctive problem with my exhaling? This makes no sense to me. I am a Farm Girl--- why can't I be on a farm....or outside. So my choice is staying inside except for to and from the car or wearing a mask so my kids can be normal kids (and go to a park, go trick or treating etc.....). I see a pulmunologist in a couple weeks and the allergy Dr wants to wait on allergy shots until my asthma is under control. Now, I need to find some sort of mask to wear over my yellow mask to go trick or treating. Or perhaps I should just go as a Asthmatic nurse?