I seldom write about my job or patients... because it's their stories and out of respect and professionalism, it's just not right. This blog started because of the seminary years and our journey to always trust in our heavenly father... no matter how frightening or confusing our life had become. I am afraid my faith will never become to the level I or more importantly what God desires, but I have discovered faith is more of a process, than a decision made with an immediate result. I have looked for this miracle for years as I specialize in worrying!
I think I enjoy my job so much because of how close I can be to witnessing heaven through my patients. I find more comfort then sadness (most days anyway). Since my hire back at the Des Moines Hospice and now with my second hire at the local hospice, I just am amazed and sincerely know that I am placed in just the right places in God's timing. Several times in DSM, I have cared for people and their families, that I have known and respected deeply. Many "God-instances". Hopefully, I was able to share God's love and peace through my hands and words.
Yesterday, my mind and heart was on fire, with so many "God-instances". I was scheduled to work, Sunday, but a sweet co-worker volunteered to trade with me, when she learned it was Gotcha Day. I was grateful, but also curious to see what God would do with Tuesday. To be brief, I was able to share God's love with numerous fellow Lutherans. At one point, I had called in 3 Pastors. (one being my husband, Thanks Honey!), to help ease the pain and bring God's love to comfort the dying and grieving. I hope I ease the fear of the dying, with touch and encouragement to grasp Christ' hand when called. I know my nursing and hospice technique well, but God asked so much more and it is a sheer priveledge to do his work. It is exhausting though!
I am also discovering small town life brings more awareness of the sadness, as I will meet surviving neighbors and fellow parsishers frequently and I will search for more ways to be of help to them. Many times in Big City Hospice... I remember the stories, but never see those involved again. I fear God has more oppurtunities for me to grow and I hope I can alway remember to put my trust and faith in him to do his work even in my new community.
God, I pray for further strength and guidance in learning to trust in you always!